New Beginnings: What Stoicism and REBT Teach Us About Starting Again
The beginning of a new year often carries symbolic weight. We talk about fresh starts, clean slates, and new chapters. Yet for many people, “new beginnings” can feel less inspiring and more unsettling—bringing uncertainty, self-doubt, and pressure to get it right this time.
As we move into 2026, I am personally experiencing a new beginning of my own: leasing a new therapy space and entering the next phase of my practice. While this is an exciting step, it has also been a reminder that even positive change can activate unhelpful beliefs if we are not mindful. Fortunately, both Stoicism and Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) offer practical frameworks for navigating new beginnings with clarity, self-acceptance, and resilience.
New Beginnings Are Neutral—Our Beliefs Are Not
From an REBT perspective, events themselves are neither good nor bad. What matters is how we interpret them.
A new beginning—whether it’s a new job, relationship, habit, or environment—is simply an activating event. Emotional distress tends to arise when we attach rigid, absolute beliefs to that event, such as:
“This has to work.”
“I must not fail.”
“If this goes badly, it will be unbearable.”
These beliefs create unnecessary pressure and anxiety. In contrast, healthier beliefs sound more like:
“I want this to go well, but it doesn’t have to.”
“I can cope even if things don’t unfold perfectly.”
“My worth is not defined by outcomes.”
As I prepared to move into a new leased space for my practice, it would have been easy to fall into perfectionistic thinking—believing the space must feel right immediately, clients must respond positively, or that any difficulty would mean I had made a mistake. REBT reminds us that preferences are healthy; demands are not.
Stoicism: Focus on What Is Within Your Control
Stoic philosophy complements REBT beautifully, particularly in the context of change. The Stoics emphasised the dichotomy of control: some things are up to us, and some things are not.
When starting something new, we often waste energy trying to control outcomes that are inherently uncertain—other people’s reactions, future success, or unforeseen obstacles. Stoicism encourages a different focus:
Act with intention and integrity
Prepare thoughtfully
Accept uncertainty as part of life
Measure success by effort and values, not guarantees
Leasing a new space involves many factors outside my direct control—market conditions, timing, logistics. What iswithin my control is how I show up: providing ethical, evidence-based care, maintaining professional standards, and responding flexibly when challenges arise.
This same principle applies to any new beginning in your own life.
Letting Go of the “Fresh Start Fallacy”
Many people approach new beginnings with the belief that this time they must feel confident, motivated, and free of doubt. Both Stoicism and REBT challenge this idea.
Discomfort does not mean you are doing something wrong. Anxiety, uncertainty, and ambivalence often accompany meaningful change. The goal is not to eliminate these feelings, but to respond to them rationally and compassionately.
A Stoic would say: “This feeling is part of being human.”
An REBT therapist would add: “And it is uncomfortable, not catastrophic.”
When we accept that new beginnings do not require emotional perfection, we reduce suffering and increase psychological flexibility.
A Values-Based Beginning
Rather than viewing new beginnings as tests of worth or predictors of future happiness, both REBT and Stoicism encourage a values-based approach.
Ask yourself:
What kind of person do I want to be as I begin this?
What attitudes will serve me better than rigid expectations?
How can I practice self-acceptance regardless of outcomes?
For me, entering a new practice space in 2026 is not about proving success or avoiding mistakes. It is about continuing to do meaningful work, aligned with values of reason, compassion, and personal responsibility—principles shared by both REBT and Stoic philosophy.
Moving Forward, Rationally
New beginnings will always involve uncertainty. The question is not whether discomfort will arise, but how we relate to it.
By:
replacing demands with preferences
focusing on what is within our control
practicing unconditional self-acceptance
we give ourselves the best possible foundation for sustainable change.
Whether you are stepping into a new year, a new role, or a new chapter in your life, remember: you do not need certainty to begin—only the willingness to proceed rationally, imperfectly, and with intention.
